The Secret Life of a Student: What channel 4 missed out

So I've been at University for over 6 weeks now, and the experience has been something of a roller coaster. I'm constantly exhausted but am also somehow constantly running from rehearsal to lecture to pub to seminar to church to rehearsal. I'm also finding time to watch the Apprentice and go shopping because a girl needs time to zone out. I don't sleep.

But man oh man I'm loving life. And I'm excited. Like, all the time. About nothing in particular. There's just always exciting stuff around the corner - people, opportunities, events, you name it. This has a lot to do with the fact that I'm on an Arts course and am heavily involved with Arty societies so I'm basically swimming along in a buzzing creative bubble.

There are many elements of this experience that I expected - for example, food shopping is as thrilling as I'd hoped, being spontaneous and independent is as fun and dangerous as I foresaw and sadly my procrastination didn't just vanish because I'm at Uni. However, there are a few things that surprised me and I sort of wish I'd known when going through the UCAS process. Many of these surprises were surprises because, spoiler alert, channel 4 documentaries on 'The Secret Life of a Student' do NOT show the full picture. (I'm not the only person who watched that series am I..?) Anyway, because I'm a good egg I thought it'd be nice to share my new found wisdom (gross exaggeration)  for all those pals of mine going through it now or who will be in a couple of years. Because sharing is caring. You're welcome.


- Not going out/drinking doesn't make you odd or boring
Documentaries would have you believe that the only people who don't go out every night at University are socially awkward or suffer with a learning difficulty. This is not true. Although there is a huge drinking culture at University, there are so many people who don't drink often or at all. And if you're hanging around with decent people, no one will have a problem with that. The survival keys to having a sober night are to be confident and honest about your decision and to find events going on that are not alcohol orientated (or not if you're able to fuel your pub crawl on lemonade and J20s). If you look hard enough you'll find comedy nights and board game clubs that will get you out the house and socialising in an environment you feel comfortable and safe in.

- It can still be difficult to be true to yourself, despite the accepting environment and fresh start
Leading on from the potentially difficult situation of not wanting to drink at Uni, is a wider picture in which in any sense it can be challenging to be totally honest because everyone just wants to be loved and accepted :((( I came to University carrying facts about myself that I avoided talking about/surpressed at all costs at school but was determined to finally be honest about at Uni (that sounds really suspicious, I'm not an assassin don't worry) because people (mainly adults, interestingly) say that it's such an accepting, open minded environment. And I'm not saying that it's not, but you still do have to close your eyes and jump sometimes and just like in school, it is so much easier and often appealing to just shrink in to a sheep and copy. Before University I'd romantise about how I'd be open about my Christian faith from the very beginning so I'd never be faced with the awkward confession when put on the spot. This never happened and I've been so rubbish at talking about it for fear of people thinking me weird or feeling uncomfortable. But I'm talking about it here so at least that's a little step forward. Anyway, this has turned into a bit of a sad point, but I just wish I'd been a little less naive about the whole 'fresh start/I can be who I want' thing and realised that it does still take some guts to be upfront about the awkward things. This might not relate to anyone reading, but if on the off chance it does, please please apply the same attitude from the previous point - confidence and honesty.
One day I will take my own advice...

-First year is not just parties
Yes it's the most laid back year and yes there's far less pressure than the following two and yes you have lots of time on your hands, but you do still have to work...quite a lot. I have known some first years to decline going out because they have too much reading to do. True story.

-There is so much support in place
Naturally, the amount and the type of support available to students will vary slightly from University to University, but generally speaking, there will be fantastic care in place. This is something that I'm upset is never shown or mentioned at all in documentaries on University. When the new students are home sick, they're shown crying alone in their rooms and/or getting the train home to Mum and Dad. When they're stressed and/or confused, they express their feelings to a TV camera and have them broadcasted to thousands of strangers. They could have just as easily gone to student support and spoken to a lovely trained adviser who would have comforted and helped them in a much more beneficial way. Sigh. One day mental health will be taken as seriously as it deserves.

I think that's everything. I didn't mean to go from happy happy happy to meh meh meh, but it's all real feels and sometimes that's just the way it goes. Honesty has been a big theme in this post so it would be silly and mean to lie.

Until next time x

P.S. My pal Dom and his pal Ryan write a really cool blog called Thunk and they close their posts telling you what music they're currently listening to which is just the coolest thing ever, and seeing as copying is the highest form of flattery, I'm going to steal that idea. Thanks guys x

Ro is listening to: Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons

The Next Step #2

My first ever post on this blog was titled 'The Next Step' and was published on the 7th October 2014. It was a very, very long tale of my personal struggles in choosing a University course. Today is the 13th August 2015 and this morning I found out that I have been accepted into my top choice University; Kent, to study Drama. And boy oh boy, I've got all the feels.

I spent so many hours and so much energy on making this decision, worrying about this decision, and then working my sanity into the ground to earn this decision, that to now know that it's truly over and earnt is so surreal. Surreal enough to write a blog post about at 11:59pm haha.

I actually didn't get into University on the grades of my offer...I was supposed to get ABB but achieved ACC (cry cry) so shout out to Kent for that lovely little favour, I really appreciate it. No thank yous to Edexcel, you big ol' pile of nope. I was pretty upset when I read that I'd got 2 Cs in subjects I believed I was stronger in - even though I already knew when opening my results that Kent had accepted me, I was really struggling to accept me (criiiinge, sorry). In that moment, I was a failure, no matter what UCAS or Kent had told me. But I think that was okay; it's okay to be disappointed as long as you forgive yourself in time and don't loose sight of the bigger picture. It's taken all day, but I'm alright now, I'm satisfied, and over the moon that in September I am packing my bags to move to the beautiful city of Canterbury to study my favourite subject (that I got a C in grr, okay still a little bitter ha). I wish I had done better, but I know that the letters in the envelope I opened at 10:30am this morning do not define me; my experience at Kent will define me.

If I was to get really deep here and search for a meaning or a lesson to be learnt from my results, I would say that it's an encouragement for me to really, totally pull my weight and work harder than I ever have worked at University. I've been granted a place at the institution of my choice, but golly it was by the skin of my teeth. Perhaps if I'd got in with the grades I was supposed to, or higher, I wouldn't be motivated to work as hard. But in the present I've got quite a lot to prove, to myself mainly. I can Drama!

Well, there's a lifey update for you internet, see you at The Next Step #3, whatever that will be...

As you wave me goodbye

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it. Exams are a thing that have happened, and freedom is a thing that is looming now. I, like many people my age, am in a funny sort of transitional period. I'm in a state of absolute in-between. I've supposedly finished school but I'm not sure where I'm going next (at least not until results day). I'm rehearsing for a play with a melancholy shroud over my head reminding me that this is the last production I will be a part of in this company. And finally, I am STILL waiting to turn eighteen. In short, everything is weird.

But it's exciting too, I think. I have lots of little plans in the case of my rejection from University - I'll audition for lots of local plays, dive wholeheartedly into script writing (I really should give that more time) and maybe I'll enrol on an art foundation course to pass the time, because why ever not? Maybe I'll reapply for University, but for now I'm happy not knowing - I've grown accustomed to the big old question mark imprinted on the file in my brain labelled 'my future'.

It's sad leaving things behind - school, jobs, clubs, people, but I suppose if you truly belong somewhere, then you can only ever leave in body, never in spirit. My name will remain under my paintings on the school walls, and the props corridor back stage at the theatre will always remain the place that my friend taught me how to play black jack during a performance, making us late on stage. And I know with absolute certainty that I am welcome to return to any of the places I am supposedly leaving behind at any time, and that's comforting.

This post doesn't really have a point to make, or a neat conclusion, it's just a little update about where I am (or am not!) and how I feel. So because I can't round this off in usual fashion, below I have put a couple of sentimental collages of my time at  The Company of Teens at at school. I have a lot of time on my hands, okay? 

Someone stop me, I think I've broken the cringe barrier.

Oh, and the title? I've been listening to a lot of Gracie Fields recently.