Things Eliza taught me

So I was in a production of Pygmalion for a month or so and it finished a couple of days ago. It took over my life and I have never been more welcoming to such an invasion. Forgive me if my mourning process is a little unorthodox or you are unsettled by how much of a wet blanket I am.

Eliza Doolittle is by far my favourite role I've ever played. We had some similarities to start with, but throughout the rehearsal process I found her spirit and vitality to be tangible and alive and I know they'll stay with me for a very long time.

Being introduced to Pygmalion and Eliza was just like when you stumble across a text or a song or a film or a person at precisely the right moment in your life and it’s like the stars have aligned above you. You know?

So without further ado, here are some little bits and pieces of thought and philosophy and nonsensical Ro-jumble that I picked up along the way.

· People can influence, teach and inspire you, but your successes are only ever your own. “You won my bet? You presumptuous insect! I won it!”
In reality people generally don’t say things like this because it’s not the 1890s and Henry Higgins is a dick. But it’s easy to feel after an achievement that you owe it to other people. Perhaps it is true that you couldn’t have done it without the help of others, but that doesn’t render your own hard work and time and effort meaningless. Credit where credit is due, but we shouldn’t feel guilty in accepting our medals.

· Define your own self worth, do not place your sense of value in other people's validation.
Not only is this an unhealthy dependency, but that validation may never arrive.
“We didn’t make speeches to her if that’s what you mean.”

· You have no obligation to stay.
I know My Fair Lady and various other adaptations of Pygmalion have taught us to expect Eliza's return despite Higgins mistreatment of her, but Bernard Shaw's original shows much more respectful ambiguity, empowering Eliza with the choice to walk away after she almost becomes a shrinking violet. It is not selfish to put yourself first.
"What you're going to do without me, I cannot imagine."

· Sometimes relationships can't be defined.
Sometimes they're too tender and complexly woven. Sometimes it is enough just to know that you care for someone, regardless of how that is expressed. We shouldn’t try to dilute or reshape these feelings for the sake of being able to define them; let them be unknown, let them be pure. With a little character analysis, it's obvious that Eliza is not going to marry either Higgins or Freddy, so readers and audience members, stop wishing something would happen just to calm your unsettled nerves that have been taught that all relationships must be given names and boundaries.

· Just around the corner from Tottenham Court Road is Wimpole Street.
If I'm using Wimpole Street as a metaphor for hope and a better quality of life, remember that you need not Henry Higgins to invite you there. Be brave enough to "go home in a taxi".

· Perhaps for years and years, no one was interested in your flowers, your chosen trade that you thought people would buy into, but one day someone might be interested in your voice, a trait you were taught to be ashamed of.

So long, Eliza.

I hope you find a little kindness.

Ro is listening to: Rich Girl by Daryl Hall and John Oates