As you wave me goodbye

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it. Exams are a thing that have happened, and freedom is a thing that is looming now. I, like many people my age, am in a funny sort of transitional period. I'm in a state of absolute in-between. I've supposedly finished school but I'm not sure where I'm going next (at least not until results day). I'm rehearsing for a play with a melancholy shroud over my head reminding me that this is the last production I will be a part of in this company. And finally, I am STILL waiting to turn eighteen. In short, everything is weird.

But it's exciting too, I think. I have lots of little plans in the case of my rejection from University - I'll audition for lots of local plays, dive wholeheartedly into script writing (I really should give that more time) and maybe I'll enrol on an art foundation course to pass the time, because why ever not? Maybe I'll reapply for University, but for now I'm happy not knowing - I've grown accustomed to the big old question mark imprinted on the file in my brain labelled 'my future'.

It's sad leaving things behind - school, jobs, clubs, people, but I suppose if you truly belong somewhere, then you can only ever leave in body, never in spirit. My name will remain under my paintings on the school walls, and the props corridor back stage at the theatre will always remain the place that my friend taught me how to play black jack during a performance, making us late on stage. And I know with absolute certainty that I am welcome to return to any of the places I am supposedly leaving behind at any time, and that's comforting.

This post doesn't really have a point to make, or a neat conclusion, it's just a little update about where I am (or am not!) and how I feel. So because I can't round this off in usual fashion, below I have put a couple of sentimental collages of my time at  The Company of Teens at at school. I have a lot of time on my hands, okay? 

Someone stop me, I think I've broken the cringe barrier.

Oh, and the title? I've been listening to a lot of Gracie Fields recently.